Lighter note

On 'sopping' - a Thanksgiving ritual...

When most people talk about “sopping” gravy they use the term casually, unaware that it is a highly technical maneuver for eating food. Sopping is a precise science, and in my family it is utilized with military precision, exactly twenty-five minutes after the meal is served. Sopping bread means placing it in the hand with palm up, firmly pinching it between your thumb and pinkie, and quickly flipping your hand over into the sauce, using your middle three fingers to press and guide the bread. If it isn’t done this way, it’s not a Sop. In fact, there are a variety of gravy-obtaining methods that are often mistaken for the Sop, including: the Soak, the Pat, the Tap,

the Scrunch, the Wipedown, the Swashbuckler, the Scorched Earth, the Curtsy, the ATM, the Fall Cleanup Special, the Gravestone Rub, the Drunk Zamboni, the Changing the Toner, the Full Monty, the Atlanta Journal & Constitution, Chicken Soup For the Bread, Vicks Nyquil Cold & Flu, the Second Law of Thermodynamics, the “Hey, Lou, You Gonna Be In There Much Longer?,” and the Sarbanes-Oxley Act of 2002. Now that you’re enlightened, sop away.